That's how I always seem to get along.
Our second homework assignment was due tonight, and I did not start until...yesterday. When I also had to read the two chapters in the book I was behind on. I know it seems like I'm procrastinating, but in my defense, we've been having rehearsals every night and "free time" has been sparse. That's my excuse, anyway. But after staying up until an ungodly 3:30 am last night trying to figure out the assignment, I awoke today with fresh eyes to solve the last two little things I was hung up on. That's the fun part of computer programming: when I initially looked at the problem, I thought, "Oh dear, I have NO idea how to do this." But then one step at a time, it comes together, and when it starts working like you want it to, it's such a rewarding feeling! Dork alert? Probably. Anyway, I have learned that I usually need at least one night to sleep on it to perfect and refine the program, and in the hopes of NOT staying up until 4 am I will have to try to get an earlier start on things. Hmm, we'll see how that goes. I also have a theory that I operate well under pressure.
Except, of course, at work. As a couple of you know, I had a major meltdown at work on Thursday. Like, hyperventilating-cannot-stop-crying meltdown. It's just too much. To make a long story short, we are overworked and underpaid. The pressure is neverending from management and emailed threats are not uncommon. They seem to hold ridiculous, impossible expectations and make no wiggle room when the work load is overwhelming. Add all of that onto a few (extremely) rude customers (when I am working my butt off to get to their claim, to help them, and they cannot even extend common courtesy) and you get: breakdown.
Sometimes I can be very short-sighted and, well, dumb. So after the catharsis, I started thinking. If I hate my job so much, why am I not looking for a new one? Even if it is still in claims, why not look for a job that at least pays decent? If I am going to be miserable, I might as well be rich, right? And as much as I'd hate to break my lease on my lovely apartment, I need only to stay in Florida to keep my in-state tuition. So on Saturday I started applying for a slew of jobs all across Florida. I felt better already :-)
And speaking of the apartment, I have made progress on the patio! Yesterday I made the acrosstown trek to Big Lots. Um, why have I not been shopping here before?!? Big Lots is the shiznit! Lots of nice stuff, and I found a lovely patio chair to get me started. I hope to get back soon to buy a second one (yes I am so poor that I could only afford one, don't you feel sorry for me?)... and then I will post some pics because I know you're just dying to see it!
Otherwise, I am getting ready for the play to open on Friday! Which is a tad stressful, too, because some of the actors still do not know their lines. I wish I was kidding.
And I'm just going to say it: I miss New York. I miss being a part of something so surreal that even on the dumpiest days I still felt alive. I'm not saying I want to move back anytime soon, especially after experiencing a New York winter last December (brr). But I know I've got to keep moving forward. After all, when I left, my goal was to go back to school to get a better job that would allow me to live comfortably in any city that I wanted. And that's (hopefully) what I am doing. So why doesn't it feel like an achievement?
