Greetings! I am looking forward to keeping this blog updated with my random thoughts and updates on interesting things going on in my life. Or, things that are not interesting, but I find them SO interesting that I force other people to pretend they're interesting, too. Probably more of the latter.
For example, this weekend I finally finished decorating my bathroom. I am almost too exhausted to enjoy it. After taking several weeks to find the perfect everything, you'd think it would be some grand design. Or, maybe you wouldn't. I don't know. But it isn't; it is a regular bathroom. It looks nice but for some reason I was so particular about what I wanted and I would not stop until I got it exactly. (And a side note to Andrea: the sea shell towels were an EXACT match for the color, so thanks for telling me over the phone to get them. :-)) Next I am going to focus on my patio.
While shopping today, I also unexpectedly found a present for my niece Grace's third birthday, which I think I love more than she will :-) It is SO cute, and requires me to get something else too, to go in it, but I love finding little treasures like that. And it was the last one, so I knew I had to get it!
I was so tempted to go clothes shopping too, but I can't. And please believe that this makes me enormously sad. I have not bought new clothes in, well, I don't know how long. But I can't afford it. I realize that this is a part of who I am. Shopping makes me happy. It makes me feel like a different person. Yes, I realize how ridiculous this sounds. But it's one of the few guilty pleasures I have left these days, so I allow it. When I can afford it. This is yet another motivation for me to work hard to get a good job so I can afford to go shopping when I want or need to!
Speaking of that, the class is going well. Right now, it's not very intense. I read the chapters when I have time, and we've only had one assignment so far. But I have a really, really good feeling about it. I like reading the book about programming. I find it interesting. And when I submitted the first assignment, I checked the internet vigorously for my grade until it appeared two hours later. Granted, it was a fairly easy assignment, but I was beaming when I read the words "100. Great job." (Am I boasting? Yes. Yes I am.) Seriously, I could not wipe the grin off my face for about five minutes. I haven't had that feeling since I got my admission letter to the American Acadamy of Dramatic Arts in NYC.
The real reason why I started this blog is because I realize that I need a place to dump my thoughts. This became particularly clear after a very disturbing dream I had last night; a dream I am now doubting as to whether I should discuss here, but here goes. It's been almost a year since I've talked to my brother. Last night, I had a dream that he died. It was so real, I can remember my heart breaking and crying over the news after my parents told me (since they're the only ones he talks to anymore, and sparingly at that). It was so real that when I woke up I had to check his Facebook profile just to make sure he was still there (which now sounds pretty dumb: What's on your mind? "Well I'm not dead" or "Hey! I'm still alive"). I am not one of those to overanalyze my dreams, or think it's a call to action. I think my subconscious is telling me he's "gone" and I miss him. Duh. But what can I do? Call him? Send him a letter? I opted for no. I was the one who was ousted. The ball's in his court, where it will probably stay for a long, long time. Maybe forever. So what do I do? I come here, and vent.
